Peggy's Pretty Priceless Passing Points

February 22, 2006
1. So the exit I use to get off the freeway has changed due to construction. (What? Construction in Utah? I know, I was just as surprised as you are!) Anyhooo, there used to be three lanes: the far left to turn left, the middle to either turn left or go straight and the right well, you guessed it--to turn right. Now, only the left lane goes left. The middle lane goes straight and the right lane goes, well, you know. HOWEVER, for some reason, people can't see the sign as you get off the freeway telling you that you can no longer turn left in the middle lane. They are equally oblivious to the big arrow on the stop light pointing straight with the word "ONLY" underneath. So they turn left, cutting me off. Me--in the correct lane--I keep getting cut off. It's about to turn into a real situation.
2. I went to the gym again last night. I'm sore, but the good kind of sore. Not the "If I take one step, I'm going to die" sore.
3. This just in: an alert reader has informed me that there is an alternate definition to the word "crunk" and that is to get high and drunk at the same time. This information was brought to her by her teenage son, who as well all know, has to be WAY up on us on the coolness scale. So please, for the love, do NOT teach your grandmothers this word.
4. I'm thirsty. Not Diet Coke thirsty, just thirsty.
5. OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS! I just randomly looked at the bottom of my Bounty bar (who looks at the bottom of their miniature candy bar?) and it has "Bounty" and their palm tree logo stamped in the chocolate! How cool is that?
6. This also just in: 8 workers at a meat processing plant in Nebraska won the record 365 million dollar lottery. That's a little more than 45 million dollars each! (Well, like $20.00 after taxes.) I have to say, though, if I could choose anyone besides me (and you all of course) to win the lottery, I would pick employees at a meat processing plant. What a crappy job! Personally, I'd be happy if I won $10!)
7. There's a town in Utah called "Mantua." The UTAH pronunciation of this town is "Mant-oo-ay" Have these people never read Romeo and Juliet?
8. So I work with the cutest girl and the cutest guy from another department always comes and talks to her and I really want him to ask her out! I know he's single and I know she'd be interested if he'd just ask. Of course I would never do anything that might be embarrassing for her, but I really want him to ask her out! It takes all of my self-control (and I don't have a lot of it!) to keep myself from screaming, "ASK HER OUT, YOU MORON!!!"
9. So word on the street is that Tom Cruise wants to name the unfortunate unborn baby "Hubbard." I reiterate: you should have to pass a test before you can get pregnant and one of the questions should be: "What are you going to name this child if we allow you to conceive?" If the candidate puts down anything "trendy" (read: made up and stupid) they should be denied flat out. Oh, the things I'll change when I rule the world.
10. God bless the person who invented the chocotaco.