May 10, 2006--Why doesn't my Shuffle shuffle???

1. Do you ever have that feeling that you have something hanging out of your nose and no matter how many times you blow it, you still feel like it's there? Times like this make me think The Pickers know what they're doing.
2. I think I am in danger of becoming cynical. (Those of you who know me well may be shaking their heads, saying that I've already crossed that line!) The more I see of the world, the more disappointed I become. Now, I'm pretty much a glass is half full kind of girl, but honestly, there are A LOT of stupid people out there.
3. Help me understand the term "<insert country here> American." Not only do I not understand, I wonder if we're the only country that has this problem. I don't recall anyone in France referring to themselves as "African French." I think if you want to be proud of your heritage, rock on. Call yourself African. That is, of course, assuming you have A. Lived there for a significant portion of your life or B. Would go back and live there again. How can someone who leaves Mexico for a better life consider themselves a Mexican patriot? If it was so great, why did you leave? Don't read this and assume I'm racist, because I'm not. I like to think I'm a very accepting sort of fern. But if you live in America, be American. I'm not saying you should forget or not be proud of your ancestry--I'm saying learn the #$%* language, pay taxes like the rest of us and deal with the fact that this is America and we do things a little differently here than they do things in the country from whence you came!
4. I think I'm going through menopause. Hot,then cold. Hot, then cold. How inconvenient.
5. Speaking of inconveniences--work is an inconvenient kind of thing. Why can't we only work when we feel like it? Now there's the life for me. I don't want a COMPLETE life of leisure, what kind of sloth do you think I am? Don't answer that. I just don't want to HAVE to do it, you know?
6. I have a picture of a man I don't know at my desk. Someone put it there as a joke about a month and a half ago and I just haven't been able to be bothered to do anything with it. I do enjoy making up creative answers when people ask me who he is. "He's the organ donor that gave me my kidney." "My grandpa." "The other man--that's why he's next to my picture of The Boy." Good times.
7. So there's a friend who works here who is EXTREMELY color-coordinated. Now, I myself enjoy color-coordination, but we're talking a pair of shoes for each outfit. That is REALLY impressive. Normally, I'd be friends with someone like that but she bugs. Not just because she has a wonky eye there are lots of other reasons. Okay, it's MOSTLY because of the wonky eye.
8. They say millions will be paid for the first picture of Brad and Angelina's baby...millions for a picture of a baby. I would love nothing more than to be above this, but really, I'm not. Not that I'd pay millions of dollars for a picture of the little fern, but I think it would be poetic justice if it were ugly as sin.
9. Speaking of having purpose in life, Britney Spears was on Will&Grace last week. Hmmm...I'd go ahead and say she's pregnant again. And the dress she was wearing indicated that she couldn't possibly care less if everyone knows it. The problem is this--you don't start to show for quite a bit. She has to be AT LEAST 4 months along. How old is the first friend? A year yet? How did she go from teen pop princess to barefoot and pregnant so quickly? I'm sure her parents are pretty excited that K-Fed has been such a good influence. They must be so proud.
10. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) has begun dating a fern who, I am quite concerned might be a worthless sort of chap. What do you do? Love Blinders are powerful things. They turn someone quite intelligent and logical into a blathering sap who can't see anything except what is right in front of them. How do you tell someone you've been friends with for years and years, "Let's talk about (enter worthless friend's name). The thing about him is that he's a complete loser with zero prospects." That would put me at the business end of a hissy fit in a hurry, that's for sure!