So I post this big long whine yesterday about how hard my life is, blah blah blah..well, I got an email from one of my best friends in the world--we were pregnant within a few days of each other (my grandma said, "Well, it makes sense. You two always did do everything together!") and I got "the" email last night. You know, the email from one of your dearest friends who is hurting in the worst possible way and there's nothing you can do about it. She miscarried. She and her husband had been trying as long as Scott and I, except they were more ambitious and actually got pregnant with medical help. She feels lost and sad and numb and hopeless and I feel nothing but ashamed of myself. I know that what I feel isn't wrong and I know that I can't beat myself up but the fact remains--I am SO blessed. Sick mommy=healthy baby and I need to be grateful. I was thinking about some of my other friends and the trials they're going through. Cute Steph (and her comment that made me snort out loud) is caring for her mother suffering with cancer. Cancer, people. Lovely Becca is all of a sudden a single mother. Sweet Heather dealt with heart troubles for YEARS while trying to keep up with her active family and now her husband is losing his eyesight. THEY aren't complaining. They're dealing with the hand they have. Are you kidding me?? Who am I to complain because I barf a lot? It's not terminal and I'll get one of the most amazing gifts from all of it. So I've decided that I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on with my life. Thanks for reading my whining and for loving me anyway. And if you want to know--I'm doing GREAT.
Friday, October 17, 2008
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3 smart remarks:
My opinion is everybody gets to whine de temps en temps, even when somebody else might have it worse on the trials'n'tribulation continuum. I don't think you should apologize for expressing your feelings. That's just me (as Joe would say...)
So we had a lesson today in RS about trials and how we can find comfort in them. I so wanted to point out that everyone has different trials and what might seem big to me might not seem big to someone else, right? But then the moment just was not right because the teacher just... well it was just not right. So I share it here. My trials are different than yours and what you are going through is rough (I admit that cancer is the hardest thing our family has ever dealt with and I hope it is the hardest thing and I never ever wish this on anyone.) By the way the window of oil is kind of closing now for about a month unless you are down here.... Going to be spending much time at the hospital with Mom now.
Pegs, I'm making this comment well after you wrote the post -but you're so entitled to your own feelings, and those who read your blog love you -and you're always welcome to share. :) Thanks for the "lovely"... You're in my prayers.
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