A Sad, Sad Day..

Dear friends/family/Internet Crazies,
It is with deep sorrow and a heavy heart that I tell you that yesterday, around 10AM, I took myself nigh unto the land of Costco and returned...I can barely type this without sadness...my Magic Bullet Express. There, I said it. (A moment of silence for my hopes and dreams that have been mercilessly flushed and are well on their way to the Sewer of Sorrows) I actually had two of them. I broke the first one (as it turns out, the blades are supposed to "click" on or else the inside gets stripped and it did nothing but make a horrific high-pitched sound--I would like to take a moment to thank Costco for their liberal return policy!) I got the second one and realized that, really, you have to be working with A LOT of food for it to really work. I was shredding chicken and most of it ended up UNDERNEATH the blades and got all mushy. Maybe I have some sort of a Magic Bullet Handicap and there is a way around this but I was also not impressed when I used the slicer and it flung food all over the place because I couldn't hold the bowl RIGHT UP to the spout As it turns out one needs 3 hands to be able to manage this effectively and the Good Lord chose to send me down with only 2. (We'll be discussing that someday--right after I ask him why in the WORLD He thought it was a good idea to make me the Primary president! I demand answers!!) So I am food processor-less. It's a sad situation to be in and I don't recommend it to anyone. Sigh. Do you have a food processor? Which one is it? What do you like best about it? What do you like the least?
And now back to your regularly scheduled reading of stuff that actually matters...