10K SchmenK

So last week was a c-rappy week. Like, UBER crappy. No words in any language could fully express the extent of the crappiness that was last week. Part of that crappiness was running outside for the first time since the 5K I ran in March. I really had no idea how much easier it is to run on a treadmill than it is to run outside! First of all, it's soooo much easier on my crappy knees. Second, it's just EASIER. I was supposed to run 3 miles and I only made it 2.5. And I couldn't even run THAT whole thing. I felt so defeated. How on earth am I going to run 6 miles next month? I was being so mean to myself. So then this week, I'm talking to Cute Rochelle and she expressed some concern that it might be a bit much to take on a 10K right now while I have so much OTHER stuff going on. (Trust me, I have A LOT going on right now!!) She asked what would happen if I DIDN'T run the 10K. I said, "I would be so relieved. I wouldn't have to kill myself training in a month and Thanksgiving Day would be a lot less stressful!" (I'm making dinner this year so I was still trying to figure out the logistics so I could get the turkey in the oven AND run a race) So she carefully suggested maybe I put off the actual RACE and make a goal to just run 5K on my treadmill that morning. I'm still waffling with that because 3 miles on my treadmill isn't really a stretch so I'm thinking of doing 5K at the race that morning. That way, I'm still doing SOMETHING (and I've already paid for it!) but it's not such a stretch.
What's interesting is that I feel good about this. This is the kind of thing I would normally beat myself up over. I would feel like a loser, call myself a quitter and kill myself to do it anyway. But I feel great about this decision. I don't want to run a 10K to kill myself--I certainly don't want another experience like my 5K was. I want to be able to do it and finish strong. That means more to me than doing it NOW. So I'll look into doing one this spring or summer. In the meantime, I'm happy to keep a running schedule and just make sure that I am on the treadmill 3 days a week. See? I'm growing (and actually shrinking a bit LOL) as a person!