Monday, April 18, 2011

God is the Gardener

You've heard me say/blog it a million times. "I'm going to change!" "This time it's going to be different!" I know. Like most stubborn people, I find myself learning the same lessons again and again. I posted a little the other day about the lesson I was forced to learn about slowing down. This really went right along with it.
I wanted to post part of a talk that one of my sweet mission companions sent me. I've read this a million times and each time I just feel like I'm the one being spoken to, although the talk was given 10 years before I was even born. It's by Hugh B. Brown and it's called "God is the Gardener." I'll only post part of it, although I highly recommend reading the whole thing. You can find it HERE. He says:
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. Howcould you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’

Now, I've been lucky. I haven't (yet) suffered any major damage due to my own stubbornness, although that is bound to change sooner rather than later. I hope when these trials come, I am able to thank the Gardener for cutting me down and that I'm able to use those experiences for my good instead of allowing myself to be consumed by them. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. This is why this talk came to my mind: On Saturday we had a luncheon at church with some of the women in our area. It was actually pretty great and one of our ecclesiastical leaders spoke. He talked about pruning his apple tree. He said that this is going to be a good year for apples so he pruned his tree way back. He said this might not make sense to the person who doesn't understand gardening. That person might wonder why he'd pruned it since, had he left it, he'd have a lot more apples. But the person who understands gardening knows that pruning it will allow the apples that DO grow to grow bigger and better. There will be fewer leaves so those apples will get more sunshine. He asked us what we needed to prune in our own lives?
I instantly thought back to the week I'd just experienced. It was crazy. It was hectic and I was stressed. There were nights I didn't manage to make dinner for my family because my gigantic to-do list was too overwhelming. This also prevented me from being available to go to lunch with some of my best friends I never get to see. It's not like the stuff on my list was bad. In fact, 98% of it was stuff I needed to do for others. But that means that only like 2% of it was for my family and for myself. No bueno. I was running in circles to serve others--which is a good thing, but not the best thing. This reminded me of Elder Oaks' "Good Better Best" talk that he gave in Conference a couple of years ago. He said, "Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do. As breadwinners, as parents, as Church workers and members, we face many choices on what we will do with our time and other resources....Some uses of individual and family time are better, and others are best. We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."
So this week I am determined to make changes. As I made my list of things to do this week, I made sure that I had written "Read Scriptures" every day this week. I made sure my list was comprised of things I needed to do for my family, even if it was just cleaning the bathroom or making a menu this week so my family has a yummy and healthy dinner every night. My list has stuff to do that will take care of ME. Besides reading my scriptures, I'm going to have lunch with a friend.
On paper, I have a far less "busy" week planned this week than I did last week. I'm so excited that this pruning will allow the things that I DO get done to be the best I can do. Big, juicy, delicious apples instead of numerous scrawny ones. Among those big juicy accomplishments will be helping my husband, cuddling with and reading to my children and doing those things that nourish my soul. A few years ago, we had one of those tiles with vinyl on it that said, "Do not neglect the things that matter most because of the things that matter least." I'm not going to lie that it appealed to me because I thought my husband would need a reminder to leave work at work and spend time with his family. Little did I know, that would not be his struggle. It would be MY struggle to spend less time serving those OUTSIDE my home so often I was neglecting those INSIDE my home. 
I will always be, as Scott affectionately calls me, a "whirling ball of chaos." It's just who I am and how I roll. I'm excited to spend this week focusing on the best things and I encourage you, my sweet friends who are just like me, to do the same thing. Prune your to-do list, focus on those things that are "best" and, above all, be grateful to the Gardener who loves you enough to allow you to learn your own lessons through the trials that seem the most unfair and painful. 
Love you guys! 

2 smart remarks:

Mary said...

I always learn so much from you. Can I be a part of your to-do list this week? I haven't seen you forever.

~~heather said...

tears rolling down my cheeks... I love this post Peggy! You are awesome!! I have appreciated my pruning of late... and need to remember to allow the fruit to grow big and not try to sprout out the branches that I don't need anymore! ;) ((hug))