1. Do you ever wonder if it bugs police officers that people drive so slowly in front of them? I slowed and stopped at a yellow light today with a cop behind me and I wondered if he was bugged. Were I an officer (heaven forbid!) I would be so annoyed by goody-two-shoes friends trying not to get pulled over. "BLOW THROUGH IT, FOR THE LOVE!!!" I would be screaming through my megaphone-speaker-type chingus the cars all have. Maybe I'd pull someone over because they were being TOO cautious.
2. At the old Costco today, I was leaving and this lady was waiting FOREVER for a fern to back out of her parking spot so she could have it. I briefly thought about signalling to turn in as well, maybe even pull in a little just to mess with her head. Luckily the voices in my head were on MY side this time. I'd have found myself on the business end of a hissy fit (I accidently typed "hussy" heh heh heh) I wouldn't want to be the victim of Costco parking rage. Talk about desperate housewives!
3. Hats off to teenage mothers. Now, don't think I'm condoning teenage mothering, I feel equally impressed by drug addicts who kick the habit. Don't go buying heroin from the guy down the street merely to gain my praise when (if!) you quit. I'm just saying that it is SO dang hard and I admire teenage women who manage it well. I'm in the twilight years of my twenties and I have no clue what to do with this kid. I can't imagine being 16, not even having my OWN crap in one bag AND having a baby. Poke my eyes out!!
4. Speaking of mothering, if I have ever given any of you the impression that I'm the best mom ever, I apologize. (refer to #3) My new pet peeve is perfect mothers (I think I've addressed this in previous P5's, this will not become a Kenny Chesney tangent!) Anyhooo...I'm bugged by those ferns who have this facade that they do everything perfectly. I was so bugged tonight by the friend who, whilst on her "I'm a perfect mommy" soapbox, proudly proclaimed that she gets up every morning an hour or two before her son so she can have "me" time and do things that she can't do when he's toodling around the house (being perfect, of course.) (Insert finger down the throat motion) Jack wakes up at like 6:30 in the morning. I'll be d!$%ed if I'M going to get up at 5:30 in the morning merely to be able to shine my mommy badge of honor. Sleeping until he wakes up is MY "me time!" Give me a break.
5. I just may go crazy living in this state. SOMEONE PLEASE RESCUE ME!!!
6. Just kidding. It isn't THAT bad. (Well, it is but I can manage a bit longer.) Me? Melodramatic? Nahhhh...
7. Let's talk about Visiting Teachers. One of the programs in my religion is the Visiting Teaching program. It's really pretty great. Two friends come ever month (ideally, but almost never) and share an uplifting thought, talk about how things are going and help with whatever you need help with. Well, on Wednesday, mine showed up. I honestly don't know the last time they were here which isn't a terrible thing, I just wasn't expecting them. Lucky for me, they show up AFTER the pan I was cooking dinner in practically caught on fire (this is NOT being dramatic, it's truth...the flames were disconcertingly high!) so my house was full of smoke. When I say full of smoke, I mean, YIKES. I was washing a pile of dishes a mile high because I had spent the day cooking meals to freeze and there's a knock at my door. Hmmmm...now, it was a lovely visit, they're great girls, but my passing point is this: unless you are close friends and/or family OR if your Holy Ghost tells you to get over there NOW, please don't show up at someone's house without calling. They could be washing dishes in a kitchen that was miraculously spared from a house fire and might not be in the mood to chat.
8. Don't you love flowers? I love summer because flowers are EVERYWHERE.
9. I'm in the market for sandals for my little dude who has dang fat feet. Not WIDE feet, but the fat is like, on TOP of his foot. Why doesn't VANS make sandals? Is this a personal thing? Do they hate me? It's the only feasible possibility.
10. I'd also like to know why God made mosquitos. Was it just one of those "opposition in all things" sort of ideas? Did He do it just to mess with us? I'm putting that on my list of questions to ask Him someday. (Assuming I don't get the old "step to the left" speech from the gatekeeper.)
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