July 8, 2006

1. Wow--it's been awhile since I last compiled pretty priceless passing points. I must confess, I just haven't had anything to complain about.  Which, really, is the ole' P5 in a nutshell.  Peggy's Pity Party. And you're invited! Don't you feel blessed? Be sure to record this momentous event in your joy journal.

2. So it's Saturday and I'm at work.  Normally that would be okay, but this is my problem: it is FREEZING stinkin' cold in here.  I'm wondering if I should start looking for dead bodies that they are perhaps trying to preserve.  So I go to Arby's ("I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!") for lunch because nothing in the world sounds better than chicken fingers and while I'm ordering, it comes to the difficult decision of what to drink. Well, I've already had a Diet Coke today and it seemed a little too sweet so the thought of soda (Who decided to call these drinks "Soda Pop?" And why do some parts of the country call it "Soda" and other parts call it "Pop?" Personally I prefer "beverage" but in this instance, "beverage could mean anything.  Is there another word for this or are "Soda Pop" "Soda" and "Pop" my only choices?) makes me want to poke my eyes out. It's like a million degrees outside so I decide to get a chocolate milkshake. It's been awhile since I've had a chocolate milkshake.  Now I'm back inside where it's a bazillion degrees below zero and I can't let my milkshake go to waste so I think anytime now I'll die of hypothermia.

3. Just say yes to Salt Water Taffy. Interestingly enough, I once ate so much salt water taffy and drank so much rootbeer that it made me throw up.  Not just your every day barfing episode, one of those racking ones where you think any second you'll see your shoes floating.    You'd think I'd have some sort of aversion to the two Sweets of my Doom, and yet, I have not.  So why is that?  I wish I could get over my coconut lime verbena lotion aversion as easily. I can smell that stuff a mile away and my stomach starts a-turnin'.

4. My highschool reunion is this weekend. I am not attending as I am a state away.  While I wanted to go, I must admit it'd be a little weird. I do wonder which ferns are still reliving their glory days in highschool on a daily basis.  Who am I kidding? I'd be able to spend SO much time making fun of them all!  I'll have to make sure to attend the 20 year.  The only thing more fun than mocking ferns stuck in highschool after 10 years is mocking ferns stuck in highschool after 20 YEARS! I can't wait!

5. I just heard dog noises coming from downstairs.  Is today "Take Your Dog to Work Day" and I didn't get the memo? Dang it! Story of my life. I never get memos.

6. You might be asking yourself why a group of men have formed a band and named themselves "Barenaked Ladies." Or maybe it's just me.  While I must confess I have seen one of these men barenaked, he was NOT a lady. (it's a long story involving being in the 5th row of one of their concerts and being scarred for life) Anyhoo...I ride bikes. I once heard that they (the band members minus 1) were in an elevator going to the floor where the 1 was waiting for them and they thought it would be funny if they were naked when the doors opened, but the 1 wasn't there, it was a bunch of old ladies.  Humorous story but is it true? Fact checker?

7. Sharing Time is the bane of my existence.

8. Peggy's 657th Pet Peeve: Schmoozing.  I hate schmoozers.  They have zero credibility with me and I ESPECIALLY hate being "schmoozed upon." I can appreciate the fact that in the course of human events it often becomes necessary to converse with someone you either don't know or don't like.  I fully support being polite and respectful in these situations.  But the tone of voice el-schmoozerino has and the feigned interest in my life is just more than I can handle.  Sadly, I have had friends in the past who are now schmoozers to me and I consider it an insult to my maturity.  If you don't like me anymore, don't talk to me.  I'll move on.

9. Peggy's 658th Pet Peeve: The Spiritual Voice.  Every religion has 'em.  They're the friends that, when discussing spiritual matters, praying or speaking in church, change their voice.  Is it necessary?  Does God not listen if you speak to Him in a normal tone of voice?  Is it disrespectful to speak to or about Him in the regular tone of voice He blessed you with?  Must you suddenly speak more s-l-o-w-l-y and softly ?  In my opinion, it is condescending.  A form of schmooze if you will.  The second the spiritual voice turns on, my ears turn off. (Not literally, though wouldn't that be nice?)  A friend's sister knows someone whose spiritual voice is the exact opposite of the common spiritual voice.  She begins shouting.  I don't think, in His perfected form, God is hard of hearing.

10. I love vacuuming.  Is that wrong?  I just really like to see the lines the vacuum leaves. I might have a problem.