The hardest to learn was the least complicated...

1. It is hot. Hot hot hot outside. Not just the regular kind of hot that makes you wish you could live in a swimming pool, but the kind of hot that takes your breath away when you step outside. I feel a certain responsibility to take a stand against this kind of weather. There's just no good reason for it. I'm going to work on that. I'll let you know how it goes.
2. I'm disturbed that cats have such scratchy tongues. Why is this? I mean, they groom themselves a lot, so maybe it's like a comb or something, but dogs don't have scratchy tongues. It's no wonder they're always horking out hairballs. I'm going to go ahead and respectfully decline coming back as a cat in my next life.
3. So someone "golb siht setah" First of all, clever. Way to spell your criticism backwards--you're clearly much smarter than everyone else in the world. I have two pieces of feedback for your comment: A. ti ssik and B. !it daer 'niggirf t'nod
4. Who names their kid "Elrod???"
5. I have been summoned to Jury Duty. Crap. Not only is it inconvenient, they gave me less than a week's notice! I'm going to have to pay some neighbor girl a million dollars to watch the Jack all day. I'm going to be so ticked off if I go through all of this and the trial is something lame like shoplifting or something equally stupid. My grandma was once summoned for jury duty. She told them she was racist. They asked what she thought the penalty for rape should be and her answer was "immediate castration." Needless to say, she was dismissed. Not a bad idea.
6. I'm a huge proponent of education. I think we should always strive to learn something new. For this reason, I would like to take a journey on over to the old Online Slang Dictionary. Today's new word is: power n 1. the remote control for a television. ("Pass me the power.")
7. Am I the only one annoyed when subtitles are spelled incorrectly? for the love, people!!
8. Just so you know, August 7th is "Friendship Day." Now, my fact checker might have knowledge to the contrary, but I believe in my heart that this is something that Hallmark made up in order to sell some cards.
9.Everytime I go inside a bank or gas station, I just know it's going to be held up. (Not as in, "supported structurally" as in "EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND!!") As it turns out, I have a deep-rooted fear of being in an establishment during armed robbery. I'm also afraid of drowning in the ocean, but seeing as how I'm living in a land-locked state, I think I'll be okay.
10. I saw a man at Costco today wearing a tshirt with a hole in the stomach. And he did NOT have the kind of stomach that should be flaunted. Which takes me back to my age-old point: everyone, at some point, looks in the mirror and deems themselves acceptable to be seen in public. Now, what is actually ACCEPTABLE seems to be relative.