Have you missed me?

Probably not, but in case you have, here are some pretty priceless passing points.  If you haven't missed me, feel free to either delete this email or skip onto the next blog.

 

1. As it turns out, Pluto isn't really a planet and will be taken out of the textbooks as such.  This leads me to wonder what other lies Mr. Goettsche told me in the 4th grade.  I'll bet Sakajewea's name was really "Mindy."

2. Last week, I read the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom.  Amazing.  I can think of no other book (obviously except for Scripture) that has changed my outlook on life like that book did.  If you've never read it, you should.  While you're at the library or bookstore, pick up his other book "Five People You Meet In Heaven." You'll like it.  Hard to believe he's really a sports writer!

3. Jack's potty chair is possessed.  I think the ghost of Grandpa Strong is sitting on it to make it play the "Royal Fanfare." Let me tell you the potty chair story.  After many weeks of Jack bringing me diapers or leading me into his room and pointing to his changing table, I concluded that he's interested in potty training. I wasn't prepared to do this for another year, but if he's ready he's ready.  I went to WalMart and as I stood in the potty chair aisle trying to decide which one to buy, it hit me. My baby is a little boy and he's NEVER going to be a baby again.  That's about when I started to cry.  So I stood there in the potty chair aisle at Walmart sobbing until a nice lady with 4 kids in her cart asked me if I was okay. She consoled me, helped me choose a chair (It was really between the Winnie the Pooh chair and the Fisher Price--I'm not making this up-- "Throne of Their Own." Well, I couldn't go with the Pooh chair--too much irony--so Jack now has a throne of his own.)  So even though this good Samaritan helped me in my time of trial, she made me cry again when she said, "You know, it will be more effective if you buy Pull Ups AND "big boy underwear." MY BABY IN "BIG BOY UNDERWEAR???" Too much for me to handle.  So THEN I was in the underwear aisle crying.  I can't help but imagine WalMart employees surrounding a security camera and laughing at the hysterical mommy in the underwear aisle trying to decide between Nemo, Spiderman or the classic football/basketball print. (They had some that had a pair with camo print and a pair that had skulls and crossbones on them.  That was my first choice, but they didn't have any in his size.) But I ride bikes.  I finally  grabbed the cheapest ones, paid for them and left. I cried all the way home while getting tips from a friend (thanks, Erica!) and then when I got home, Scott called and I REALLY lost it.  I just can't handle the fact that Jack is growing up!! But anyway, back to my original passing point: every once in awhile, his potty chair (which has a sensor that plays "royal fanfare" every time the child sits down/does his or her business/moves his or her hand in front of the LED light.) will start playing music. My guess was that wind was blowing the towels hanging above it around setting off the sensor, but I moved the chair out of their vicinity so I'm back to my previous theory which is that I purchased a Possessed Potty.  Hmmm...I wonder if I can market that.

4. Let's discuss Cindy Sheehan for a moment.  For those of you who live under a rock, she is a woman from Texas, I think (I'd defer to my resident fact-checker, but she's not worth his time) whose son died in Iraq and she now spends her time protesting the war.  The mayor of Salt Lake City is an active anti-war/anti-Bush participant and they're besties.  President Bush is coming to Salt Lake next week and Ms. Sheehan (or as I lovingly refer to her "She-Man" Lady looks like a dude!) is coming to protest the war. Your opinion counts. I want to know two things: 1. Do you think it appropriate for an elected official to participate in these protests, and actively condemning the President? 2. Do you think it's possible to support the troops while protesting their actions?  Just curious.

5. Mariah Carey was on Ellen today. She's soooo cheap.  For the love, put some dang clothes on!!

6. Speaking of cheap--Paris Hilton is now a rockstar.  Good grief.  First of all, I feel so sorry for her parents.  Can you imagine turning on the news or picking up a newspaper and reading about the **ahem** home video your DAUGHTER made that is now circulating on the Internet? My stars. I can't even handle Jack being ready to be potty trained! The thought of him appearing in something like that (not once, but TWICE!) just gives me a rash. Secondly, this is proof that America is the land of opportunity.  With enough money, even YOU can be a rockstar.  No talent required!

7. Let's all take a moment and do three laps on our imaginary stick ponies because yesterday was the beginning of Scott's LAST year of school. Do you see what I see?  It looks like a light at the end of a tunnel! I don't know who is more excited--me or him! (Probably me!)

8. Pet Peeve number 6932: Hecklers.  Comments under your breath are one thing but when you're in a place where other people are trying to actively listen and participate in something serious, unless you are being paid to be there as a professional comedian, keep your comments to yourself.  You're probably NOT as funny as you think you are!

9. I told Scott that I want to make another quilt.  He burst out in laughter.  Is that a bad sign?

10. If you were at dinner with us last night celebrating Scott's birthday, we've already discussed this, but it's something that is really disturbing--help me understand why medical professionals work insanely LONG hours.  Of all the people I come in contact with, a DOCTOR is the friend I want to be the most refreshed whilst rendering services!! Doesn't it bother you, even just a little, that your life could depend on the dude that hasn't slept in 3 days?? Why can't the postman work 72 hours straight? Why does it have to be the doctor??