Let's talk for a second about bank suckers. I'm not referring to those special friends who, for some bizarre reason, get stuck with accounts with hidden fees and have to buy their own checks, I'm talking about the little dum-dums you get when you go through the drive-thru at the bank. (Why can't we spell that word correctly? I first typed "drive-through" and it looked all wonky. Since when has incorrect spelling become correct? Anyhoo...) This is my problem with bank suckers: at first, they were a mere novelty to the l'il midget I like to call Jack. (he's not a real midget, but I suppose the closest thing I'll ever have to one, unfortunately!) So the first time he got a sucker, he had NO idea what to do with it. Apparently, children AREN'T programmed to immediately recognize candy. He was like, using the stick to point to things in his book. Lest you fall victim to the incorrect notion that I'm a super good Mom, who would NEVER let her child eat candy....read on. So at first, he was pretty confused that the bank people would go to all this trouble just to give him something to point with. It didn't take long for him to realize that taking off that paper junk at the other end reveals sugary goodness that cannot be described with any word in the two year old vocabulary except for, "MORE!" So now when we go to the bank, he just expects it. We go to the bank, Mommy fumbles for her pen or checkbook or whatever, apologizes profusely for not "having her transactions ready for faster service," she shoots that tube wherever, waits a bit while singing along to the radio then all of a sudden the tube comes back with a piece of paper and a sucker in it! Mom gets the paper, Jack gets the sucker. (Lucky l'il mite!) Sometimes it looks like there are two suckers, but if that's the case, Mom is hiding the other one for later. But that would NEVER happen. So this is just normal to Jack. Imagine his dismay (read: Intense frustration leading to meltdown) when the tube comes back with JUST a piece of paper! Now imagine how he feels when we go to not one, not two, but THREE banks (Ughhh...it's a long story) and EACH time he get ripped off. A bunch of hooey is what it is, don't you know. So this is what I have to say: "Bank people of the world: don't make me beg. Just give my poor kid a blasted sucker. Don't make me resort to keeping a stash of my own in the car to make up for YOUR shortcomings! Kids need consistency and if he starts setting cats on fire and wets the bed until he's 20, I'm holding YOU directly responsible."
Saturday, May 19, 2007
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3 smart remarks:
Three banks eh? I'm sure there is nothing illegal going on here. It would be a shame if Jack had to visit mom at the point on Thursdays. At the age of two, I don't think he would be considered an acomplice.
It's a good thing the banks don't hand out little cans of Mt. Dew.
I hear you about those suckers! For years, they'd ask if I wanted one and I'd say "no," because I didn't want this whole drama! Of course, my 5-year old is just too danged observant for that and saw the box of them sitting there one day. That was the end of my sucker-free banking days! When we go inside, they're handy little bribes (as in "behave or else!"), but at the drive-thru, I usually have to ask. Then they want to know what color....whatever you've got that's sugar, thanks! LOL!
Just wait until you have the "experience" with the little modified zoo animal or cowboy oriented merry go rounds at Kmart. My uncle was asked to leave the premesis once as he pitched a fit when he realized the one little quarter did not take him the full eight seconds. It was bad.
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