True Confession

You know that, occasionally, I find it helpful to lay open my ridiculous life before you, the friend/family member/Internet crazy in a (desperate) search for absolution. This shouldn't be a huge surprise--I am, after all, the girl who found the online confessional.

I was talking to my dear friend Lisa (a.k.a. SBG) about horrifying moments. I can't tell you what her's was lest the friend involved in said moment read this and die of humiliation. (Trust me when I tell you it was HILARIOUS) So I told her MY story and after a good laugh, she told me I needed to tell my friend who is involved in the story. Let me just preface this by saying that I am NOT naming names but she'll know it's her...I really didn't plan on telling her this story for another 10 years but in the spirit of confessing online, here we go:

So Scott's grandmother passed away in July. Very sad. We got the call early on a Sunday morning and I called one of my good friends (maybe I should say "dear(est) friends"..maybe my "FAVORITE friend of all times" pardontheflagrantsuckingupbecauseI'mstalling...) to see if she could take Jack while we made plans. We just didn't want him around everyone crying and stuff. Anyway, so I wanted to call after everyone was up and going but ended up waking her up anyway. She was a trooper and agreed to watch Jack. I said I'd bring him over and she said she'd probably be in the shower but one of her kids would let me in and it'd be fine. Well, when I arrived she was in fact in the shower and one of her kids DID let me in. It was NOT, however, "fine." The aforementioned child told me they were playing downstairs so I took Jack down. On my way to the playroom, I passed the bathroom. Where her husband was on the toilet. Naked. With the door open. Okay, I know you're dying right now and I'm wiping the tears away even as I type. Let me assure you, I saw only a profile. He looked a lot like this:

only hairier and less...made of bronze (or whatever). So there is my true confession and I have to tell you, Friend, you CANNOT tell your husband about this because while I'm pretty sure he would think it's a funny joke, I will not be able to look him in the eye. I had pretty much blocked it out until I told Lisa about it. I'm now off to brainwash myself, hopefully deleting the image from my brain forever. Wish me luck!