FFA "Tradition! Tradition!"

That title doesn't have nearly as much punch when read as it does in my head when I hear the cast from Fiddler on the Roof singing it in my head...but I digress (of course I digress! It's nearly 2AM!) Anyway, let's get on with the show:

Topic #9: Okay, we all know everyone has wonderful, cherished family and holiday traditions we just couldn't live without. (I mean, hey, where would Halloween be if I didn't traditionally sneak candy out of my kids treat bags after they've gone to bed?)
But what are some of your traditions that you could really do without?

This one is SOOOO easy for me. My family and The Boy's family are very different! We grew up with nothing--we were so poor that, for us, Christmas usually consisted of gifts donated from some random church (how they found us, I'll never know--we didn't go to church!) so our traditions were all about the food. Mmmm mmm mmm! I was raised by my grandmother and never knew we were poor, especially on holidays when she would--I'm not kidding--stay up all night cooking. She said she did it so she could relax the next day, but she never did. Thanksgiving and Christmas pretty much involved the same menu--ham with ham gravy, turkey with mashed potatoes and turkey gravy, stuffing, candied yams, beets, a huge veggie tray (loaded with olives that, to this day, I eat off my fingers), macaroni and potato salads, jello salads (a red one with fruiit and a green one with shredded carrots), devilled eggs, dinner rolls...for dessert--pies in every variety imaginable--pumpkin, lemon meringue, fruit pies..chocolate cake and pineapple upside down cake...amazing. (The joys of food stamps!) My great-grandmother bought a set of silverware the year my grandmother was born which was passed onto her. I love that silver and every holiday it's my job to polish it and then wash and put it back in the (original!) box after dinner. This past Thanksgiving was the first time Jack was old enough to do it with me and let me tell you--it was a tender moment. That silver is the only thing in the world I have asked for when my sweet grandma leaves this world and I look forward to many more holidays polishing it with my kids. But I digress. I needed to paint this picture for you so you could fully understand why I struggle so much with Scott's family's traditions. Not that their's aren't good, because they're theirs and they are precious to them, but for me--a huge letdown.
First of all, Thanksgiving: Scott doesn't really like turkey and his mom keeps saying, "Maybe next year I won't make a turkey." No turkey? On Thanksgiving? What, are we communists?? They have a big dinner, but without turkey gravy (well, now I'm in charge of making turkey gravy because in my book, giblets mixed with cream of mushroom soup does not a gravy make!) and Stove Top stuffing instead of homemade stuffing. What? This is the thing--it's very kind of my mother in law to make dinner for everyone. I get it and I appreciate it, I know I sound really ungrateful and crappy, but our Thanksgiving meals were sacrifices. A labor of love. It's one thing to get up early and put the bird in the oven, it's another to stay up all night cooking. Do you see the difference? I think instead of being bitter, I'm going to be in charge of Thanksgiving meals and do it "right." I can be the one to stay up all night cooking and baking everything from scratch. Honestly, it sounds like more fun than almost anything else (and I'm not even being snarky!)
Second, Christmas. Now, one tradition of my in laws that I LOVE is going to see a movie on Christmas Eve. It's just good fun. However, Christmas is...different. It starts with "sausage fondue" for breakfast which, in my opinion, tastes a little bit worse than death. It involves letting bread soak in milk overnight then you add beat eggs mixed with ham and mushrooms and onions and peppers (I think) smother it with cheese and bake it. The end result is some sort of quichey thing on soggy bread. I'd rather look at pictures of homeless dudes in leotards from Goodwill than eat this stuff. For a a couple of years, I'd stomach it down but when I realized my mother in law doesn't like me and probably never will, I started eating cereal while everyone else relishes this delightful Christmas tradition. Did I mention they also eat hash browns with peppers and onions in them? (Insert adolescent gagging noises) I just DO NOT like friends in my food so it freaks me out to see peppers and onions ruining one of my favorite foods of all time. (spare me the Idaho jokes!) Then, Christmas day, gifts are opened. It takes ALL DAY. Growing up, we were lucky if we had a few gifts each. Now, granted, one of the reasons it takes so long is because every one takes turns opening one gift and there are a lot of us, but yikes. Again, I know I sound ungrateful, but it's just a lot. You know? And there is no Christmas dinner. Usually sandwiches or something easy (because everyone's exhausted from opening presents all day!) It kills me to not have Christmas dinner!! Again, this might be something I need to do just so I can get over it.
Third--Memorial Day. Now, I understand the purpose of Memorial Day--to remember those dearly departed loved ones. But it's a HUGE deal for Scott's family. They buy LOADS of mums and pick all the irises that have bloomed and go to the cemetaries where family members are buried to leave flowers and sometimes take pictures. I just have a personal problem with cemetaries. I will admit that there are TIMES when I go to my father in law's grave site (I was closer to him than I am to my own dad) for peace and even clarity, but he's not there. All the things that I love about him, things that influence me even today, the great memories like the sound of his laughter and his never-ending kindness--those things ARE NOT THERE. I just don't get it. It just makes me sad to be there and I know he would rather we be happy than have mums on his headstone. Which leads me to the picture-taking. What the heck? I am not going to stand in front of his grave and smile. No effing way. I would really rather be in the comfort of my own home, or in the temple, or anywhere else where I can feel him near me to remember him than to sit in the cemetary crying and taking pictures. I know, it's selfish and awful, but I'm just sayin'..

So those are just a sprinkling of family traditions I could do without. I really could go on, but it's already past 2:00AM and I'm finally tired enough to sleep I think. (FYI--a 44 oz Cherry Coke at 8PM is not a good idea!) Goodnight, kids!