So have you ever been suddenly surprised by something and then realize you've always known it but just never really thought about it? For example, there are people who live in Indiana. It's true. I know, I was surprised too when I found out. I found out that people really do live in Indiana, that it's not just a pink colored weird shape in the map of the United States puzzle and my first thought was, "What? No way!" But then I was all, "Huh. Oh yeah. I guess that makes sense."
Well, I had one of those moments just like 20 minutes ago when I realized that people get paid to blog. TO BLOG. This is crazy to me. My first thought it that clearly wealth should be evenly distributed among the masses because some people have way too much of it and therefore need to pay people to write random crap that people only read because A. They're stalkers B. They're super good friends/family (because who else would care?) or C. They're both and are therefore even more dangerous. Now, let me make one thing very clear: my opinion that getting paid to blog is the stupidest idea since some brilliant friend said out loud, "Do you know what the world needs? To see the inner workings of the Kardashian family!" And someone equally brilliant was all, "Great idea! I'd totally watch that!" comes from pure jealously.
I want to get paid to blog!
Well, I had one of those moments just like 20 minutes ago when I realized that people get paid to blog. TO BLOG. This is crazy to me. My first thought it that clearly wealth should be evenly distributed among the masses because some people have way too much of it and therefore need to pay people to write random crap that people only read because A. They're stalkers B. They're super good friends/family (because who else would care?) or C. They're both and are therefore even more dangerous. Now, let me make one thing very clear: my opinion that getting paid to blog is the stupidest idea since some brilliant friend said out loud, "Do you know what the world needs? To see the inner workings of the Kardashian family!" And someone equally brilliant was all, "Great idea! I'd totally watch that!" comes from pure jealously.
I want to get paid to blog!
I just want to get paid.
Have we ever discussed my shopping problem? It's a big 'un. I love shopping. A lot. I do less of it since shopping with a 2 year old and a 9 month old basically gives me a rash, but I'm still willing to haul them around at least every other day for an "outing." (Read: opportunity to spend my sweet and hard working husband's money on something we may or may not even need.) I can spend $30 at the DOLLAR STORE. I can always find something I can't live without, or, in some rare instances, something I am sure I knew in the pre-existence. My husband, on the other hand, has been described as "the man who will die in a ratty old armchair lined with hundred dollar bills." This, you see, is why I need cash. So in the spirit of getting paid to do stupid crap, how about if you send me a buck and I'll blog about whatever you want? I mean, of course I have moral and ethical limitations (stop laughing, Joe! I really do!) but other than that, pick a topic, any topic. Now, I know that unlike OTHER people who pay bloggers to blog, you work hard for your money. You don't want to spend it on anything superfluous. You just leave that to me. With the dollar you send me to blog, I solemnly promise that you will get a post. The post may or may not be funny. It could be a total downer and be full of horrible grammar and typos. This is, after all, MY blog. Now, for TWENTY dollars, I promise you'll get funny AND grammatically correct. I'll even spell check. Quality is what I offer. I also promise that I will blow that dollar on something completely unnecessary and unneeded. Pay a bill? Pffft. Pay off debt? HA! Not with YOUR money. Your money will be spent frivously and irresponsibly. That is a guarantee you (and I) can take to the bank. You may be asking yourself, "Why would I pay Peggy a dollar to blog about a random topic? I have better things to spend my money on. Groceries! Mortgage payments! Times are so hard and they're only getting harder!" (Okay, so maybe YOU didn't quote Eminem.) My friends, for that answer, let us turn to the Bible. In the book of Mark, chapter 10, verse 25, Jesus teaches that "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." I am just trying to make it easier for you to get to heaven. Some of you need more help than others. (You're welcome, John B.) Really, I'm just serving you. You are welcome.
Have we ever discussed my shopping problem? It's a big 'un. I love shopping. A lot. I do less of it since shopping with a 2 year old and a 9 month old basically gives me a rash, but I'm still willing to haul them around at least every other day for an "outing." (Read: opportunity to spend my sweet and hard working husband's money on something we may or may not even need.) I can spend $30 at the DOLLAR STORE. I can always find something I can't live without, or, in some rare instances, something I am sure I knew in the pre-existence. My husband, on the other hand, has been described as "the man who will die in a ratty old armchair lined with hundred dollar bills." This, you see, is why I need cash. So in the spirit of getting paid to do stupid crap, how about if you send me a buck and I'll blog about whatever you want? I mean, of course I have moral and ethical limitations (stop laughing, Joe! I really do!) but other than that, pick a topic, any topic. Now, I know that unlike OTHER people who pay bloggers to blog, you work hard for your money. You don't want to spend it on anything superfluous. You just leave that to me. With the dollar you send me to blog, I solemnly promise that you will get a post. The post may or may not be funny. It could be a total downer and be full of horrible grammar and typos. This is, after all, MY blog. Now, for TWENTY dollars, I promise you'll get funny AND grammatically correct. I'll even spell check. Quality is what I offer. I also promise that I will blow that dollar on something completely unnecessary and unneeded. Pay a bill? Pffft. Pay off debt? HA! Not with YOUR money. Your money will be spent frivously and irresponsibly. That is a guarantee you (and I) can take to the bank. You may be asking yourself, "Why would I pay Peggy a dollar to blog about a random topic? I have better things to spend my money on. Groceries! Mortgage payments! Times are so hard and they're only getting harder!" (Okay, so maybe YOU didn't quote Eminem.) My friends, for that answer, let us turn to the Bible. In the book of Mark, chapter 10, verse 25, Jesus teaches that "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." I am just trying to make it easier for you to get to heaven. Some of you need more help than others. (You're welcome, John B.) Really, I'm just serving you. You are welcome.
1 smart remarks:
I'll think about it, though you might not like my choice of topic. Rest assured, you will be paid what your snarky comments are worth. ;o)
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