Titles are overrated

1. I have a question to ask the youth of today about fashion. Now, I went through some pretty interesting phases of my life (as anyone who went to highschool with me can attest) where I was dyed black, pierced and looked homeless. (And carried a paint can purse!) But these two fashion trends are so far beyond me, I am practically stupefied--I submit to you, exhibit A. The look I like to call "Your Little Sister's Jeans":

I don't understand this. I don't understand why a dude would want to look like a lady, no matter how much they might like Aerosmith. I don't have a problem with GIRLS in "skinny jeans" because they're girls. But those of the male species...well, there are just so many reasons I cannot understand or condone this fashion practice. (And I use the term "fashion" loosely!) One of those reasons, I think is some residual trauma from the following incident: So Jack was little. It was summertime and the bounty from our little garden was plentiful. So I decided to teach Jack about being a good neighbor. We loaded up his little wagon with tomatoes and cucumbers and went door to door seeing if any of our neighbors would be interested in some fresh fruit/vegetables. We knocked on one door two houses down from us and after waiting awhile with no answer, concluded no one was home. Until we heard some rustling around and a guy in his early twenties answered the door. He looked a bit disheveled, like maybe he'd been napping or something, and I noticed he was wearing His Little Sister's Jeans. Gross. What's worse, those jeans had a hole in a really awkward place. And he was Commando. And I saw It. GAAAAAAA!! I tossed those tomatoes at him and got my little boy out of there at lightning speed. To this day Your Little Sister's Jeans make me throw up in my mouth a little.

The next "fashion" trend I don't understand is Exhibit B, also known as "Flying at Half-Mast."

                                         

This is why THIS confuses me. Isn't the point of pants to cover your arse/unders? Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't understand this. I stand firm in my belief that your unders are your very own business and shouldn't be shared with the General Public. Why is this kid even WEARING pants? Sigh. I just don't understand. Maybe instead of tormenting all of us with this PDU (Public Display of Unders), he could just wear a sign that says, "Wanna see my unders?" If someone DOES, they could simply ask to see them, he could comply and both friends could go on with their day. I'm all about freedom of expression, but I'm also about freedom of not being subjected to your dirty unders. I take that stand proudly. I may make buttons.

2. If there is a life without Chex Mix and Cherry Coke, I am in no way interested in it.

3. Speaking of, Miss Elisabeth (aka: "Mini Me") ALSO loves Chex Mix and Cherry Coke. Now, lest you think I am the kind of delinquent parent that puts Cherry Coke in her sippy cup, let me say to you: DON'T JUDGE! I was carrying her and a Cherry Coke in the same arm and while I was wrestling with the lock on the front door she non-chalantly leaned down to the straw and helped herself. She liked it and now I have to make sure she can't reach it or we have a whole situation going on. Now, the Chex Mix thing isn't as big a problem. Mostly because I hate the Rye Chips and she'll eat anything so I always pull them out and give them to her. She thinks I'm sharing and I get rid of the Rye Chips. Win/win, friends. THAT'S effective parenting right there. (Take notes, people!)

4. Speaking of parenting tips, I'd like to offer you one. When your kid biffs it (as kids often do. To quote my dear friend Jana, "When you're dumb, you've gotta be tough.") DO NOT let out the huge gasp. You know the one. The "HOLY CRAP, ARE YOU DEAD???" gasp. You might be tempted to, and certainly if your kid falls off the jungle gym, it might be an involuntary sort of reaction to a situation you know is going to involve mass quantities of blood. But if your kid trips on their own feet, falls off of a chair, gets pushed into the wall by their big brother causing the baby gate to fall on their head (Um, I saw on TV once?) DON'T GASP! Because if you clap and say something like, "Excellent tumble!"  or "Jump up!" chances are, they might not even cry. You're welcome.

5. I have a little brother. Okay, not little, 20. But since I was like 12 when he was born, I get to call him little forever and ever and I double-dog-dare you to try and stop me. Anyhoo--I like him. He's funny. He sends me text messages to see how my day was and to tell me about his and I appreciate that. He doesn't get offended if I don't text back and he puts up with me constantly mothering him. He wins the prize. 

6. All snarkiness aside--let me say that Sunday was an incredible day for me. I woke up with an insane migraine, the likes of which I haven't felt since I went off the Diet Coke. Light sensitivity, barfing, the whole thing. It's what I would imagine a hangover feels like when even the slightest sound boomed in my ears. Good times. I had to do Sharing Time in Primary, (which consists of preparing a lesson and game that will both entertain and instruct the Primary Kids (age 3-11). Not easy. I cancelled a meeting I had that morning but decided to be a trooper anyway and go do Sharing Time, then go home. I prayed for strength and healing and then dragged my sorry self to church and started Sharing Time. Not even 5 minutes into it, my headache was completely gone. It was so incredible! I felt fantastic and I knew it was a product of a loving Heavenly Father helping me accomplish the tasks that accompany my stewardship. I was grateful. So since I felt fine I decided to stay for the rest of church and went to Sacrament meeting. (For those of you who aren't LDS and don't know how it works chez nous, our main service is called Sacrament Meeting where we take the Sacrament (like Communion) and have pre-designated speakers from the congregation. However, the first Sunday is our "Testimony" meeting where any member of the congregation who feels so inspired is able to come to the pulpit and share their testimonies of the Church and/or a particular gospel principle.) Since it was the first Sunday of the month, many got up to bear their testimonies and I was struck with the most lovely thought: The Lord loves us so much. He loves us in our strength, but He loves us even more in our weakness. He didn't suffer for the sins of the "perfect" (which doesn't exist), He suffered for the sins of the weak. For those of us who don't always get it right. And I'm so grateful that He did that. That He made the ultimate sacrifice for a bunch of people who would, in all likelihood, make the same mistake again and again. A perfect sacrifice for imperfect people. It was such a beautiful thing that was pressed into my heart for probably the kajillionth time. And not only did He take upon Himself my sins, but He took my sadness, my anger, my illness...anything that "afflicts" me, He took upon Himself. I thought about how "religious" people often come across as arrogant and self righteous and I thought that the exact opposite is true. Those who are TRULY religious are people who know they have weaknesses, who know they're not perfect, but who lean on Him to make up where they lack. The measure of someone faith is not in the prayers they pray, the tithe they pay, the service they render (though those things are of great importance since they are things the Lord uses to teach and mold us), the measure of one's faith is in being able to take a long hard look at who they TRULY are and to give thanks for the strengths and to repent of and ask for strength in their weaknesses. How grateful I am to know that I am just as much a child of God when I have a crappy day and swear in the hallway at church (insert embarrassed laughter here) as I am when I have the faith to come to church when I have a migraine determined not only to fulfill but magnify the calling He has given me. Ahhhh...beautiful lessons the Lord teaches us through the examples of others.

7. Wow. I almost feel bad following that up with more P4. Huh. Oh well. Not bad enough to not do it. 

8. So I went to Kid to Kid today. Have you been here? Am I the only person in the world who has yet to experience the awesomeness that is great quality, super cheap kids' clothes?? It'd be easy for me to be all snooty and swear off used clothes for my kids, but holy heck, friends! When our kids are growing SO much we have to literally shop for JUST the season, used clothes are heaven sent! So I spent $50 and got:

3 pair of jeans

5 long sleeved shirts (2 Abercrombie and Fitch, 1 Gap 2 Old Navy)

2 T Shirts (1 A&F, 1 brand I don't know but it had a really cool guitar on it)

2 Church Shirts (Children's Place)

1 Heavy fleece jacket (Children's Place)

If being excited about that is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

9. August has been an awesome month so far. Really amazing. So many miracles have happened in my extended family and even beyond that I can't even begin to relate each experience. Also, if I gave it a theme, it'd be "Reunited and it feels so good!" I got to spend the day with a dear friend yesterday (you know who you are!) and Monday another one of my best friends is coming to visit from Indiana. I can't wait for her to get here so we can just sit back and let the sarcasm flow!) Thursday I'll spend the afternoon with my 2 amazingly beautiful cousins Lisa and Christina and Christina's 2 kids. Friday, Lisa and I are going to spend the entire first half of the day in the temple. What a blessing it is to be able to be in the temple with a member of my family! We both get a little blubbery when we talk about it. Christina's daughter will also be able to be with us and it'll be her first time there so that's also an incredible experience I'm excited to be able to share with them. Later in the month my dearest darling Sara is coming to visit with her little dude Lincoln (that I have yet to meet!) and her husband Sam who is a total crack up. What an INCREDIBLE month!

10. August also means that Jack starts playing soccer and starts school. Um, I need a hug. I am experiencing some very real anxiety about  not having him home all day and everything that goes along with sending your kid to school. (What if the kids make fun of him? What if someone teaches him the F word? What if someone is mean to him? Will he make friends? Will it be cool or dorky that he refuses to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich unless it's cut in dinosaur shapes? Is he adequately self-sufficient or have I catered to his every whim so much that he will be paralyzed without mommy there to do it for him? Will he be nice to the other kids while still resisting peer pressure to do things he knows are wrong? GAAAAAA!!!!) I am, however, excited for him to finally have friends. This is something I think people take for granted. Jack doesn't have anyone really close to play with and that makes me just as sad as I am to not have the same thing. LOL. He's very social (where does he get that, you ask? I'd like to say "his dad" like I usually do when I'm trying to pawn off a personality trait my kids get from me, but there's just no getting away with it.) and I know he'd love a friend he can play with who will WANT to play cops and robbers and Droids and Blasters with. (Yes, I just ended my sentence in a preposition. Wait, will he be judged because his mom is too lazy to go back and correct a sentence she ended with a preposition??? OH NO!) We swore we would buy a house in a neighborhood with other kids to play with and we didn't do it. Dang it. So he's stuck with me and Lizzy to play with, and we're not always fun. I hope he makes friends easily and I pray for him to find someone to be his very best friend who will love him and defend him and will have common interests and who will be a good influence. If you're looking for things to pray for, join me won't you?