Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Few Reasons...

..Why I am think I am getting old
1. I don't get fashion today. We've discussed.
2. Jack is coming home from school saying things I don't understand. For those of you not honored enough to be my Facebook friend, you don't know that the other day he told me something was "rotten cool" and I looked at him as if he was speaking Portuguese. What does this mean, this "rotten cool?" To me that sounds "totally lame."
3. The only thing I want in the whole wide world right now is to put Justin Bieber in a headlock, give him a haircut and then send him back to Canada letting him know if he ever tries to torment me with his music again, not only will he get another hair cut, but also a complimentary wedgie. I may kindly suggest that with the millions he makes on stupid songs (Really Justin? Really? "Like baby baby baby oh..") on purchasing clothes that actually fit him. I swear! If they're not wearing their sisters' jeans, they're wearing their older 300 lb brothers' clothes. See? I'm old.

..Why I'm black-listing my local McDonalds
1. I stopped by this morning for a Coke and the "manager" never once greeted me. Handed me my Coke and continued her conversation with someone about what makes a good impression on customers. She then started going off about someone who'd been arguing with her all morning and..well, let's just say her next sentance was short, but involved 2 expletives--one being the ole "F" bomb which I really do not tolerate well. It takes a lot to offend me, but the F word is pretty much a quick way to get there.
2. They have wasps by their menu boards. I'm sure they're used to hearing "Um, yeah, I'll have a GAAAA!! GET AWAY! SHOO SHOO! OUT! AAAAAA!!! Happy Meal with chicken nuggets and apple dippers.." so I doubt they're judging me, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
3. It's really hard to get in and out of the parking lot. Well, I mean, I have the dexterity and sweet driving skills, but it's right on the corner by the freeway and here in Utah, you just cannot depend on the kindness of strangers to get out onto a busy street.

...Why I Love Jack
1. Besides the fact that he's teaching me a new language (see above) he's just dang funny. He says words like "meanwhile" and he informed me that the Force is fake. Sigh. They grow up so fast.
2. He makes up random rules like Scott does. (Scott once got mad at him and told him he was never allowed in the bathroom again--NEVER!) Scott and I have been grounded from the living room. Except on weekends. Signs have been posted and we have been warned.
3. He's on a power trip on my behalf. He often reminds people that his "mom is the Primary president so you have to do what she says. She's the boss of the Primary." Now, peeps, I get that my church job involves no power over anyone or anything but for some reason, Jack has yet to understand this, no matter how many times I remind him. It's very endearing to me.

...Why I Love Lizzy
1. She loves wearing shoes. Nothing makes her happier than having shoes put on her little feet. She laughs and claps and a happy time is had by all.
2. She's discovered the joy of toothbrushing. She took to it like a fish to water, although we do fight for control of the toothbrush sometimes. She's even learned to bring the bathroom stool close to the counter so she can climb up and grab Jack's toothbrush. She grabs toothpaste, pretends to put it on the toothbrush and walks around the house forever "brushing her teeth." Hilarious.
3. She's so pretty. I could stare at her forever.

...Why I Haven't Blogged In Like a Whole Week
1. For some reason, the Universe has taken pity on my sorry self and now...I SLEEP! I think I'm still catching up because I'm still really tired but I'm finally sleeping at night and it's sooooooo wonderful! Huzzah!

...Why I'm Ending This Post
1. I'm wearing contacts today and staring at the computer is giving me a headache
2. I'm hungry and am ready for lunch
3. I'm pretty much out of things to say. Crazy, I know!

Toodles!

2 smart remarks:

Mary said...

Love it.

Jenni said...

Huzzah?! Oh, I love you. Please tell me you've seen The Great Race.